Where I belong
by PCGirl
Summary: John realizes what he's lost and how to get it back. Jolie.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Jolie or anyone else that makes an appearance from OLTL in my story. They sadly belong to ABC/Disney who doesn't take very good care of them. ;)

A/N: Yes, another story has finally arrived. It's gonna be a short one-probably 3-4 chapters (if I can stretch it out that much) You all know me-sometimes a story takes flight and gets longer. Not sure if that'll happen this time-the lack of show and the way GH-John is being written pisses me off so the muse doesn't like to play much anymore. Anywho-without further ado, my latest. Until next time-ya'll are always the best-PCGirl.

* * *

John disconnected the call without leaving a message—he'd been trying the past few days to get a hold of Natalie, to talk to his son for a few minutes of the day, and she had yet to answer or call him back.

He could tell by looking outside at the winter sky that it was getting cold and he wondered what the weather was like in London today. Gray and dreary most likely. Picking back up his phone he searched for a number a pressed send—waiting for the person on the other line to hopefully pick up.

"Hey," she said stepping out of hearing distance of anyone else in the family.

"Hey Kelly—how's London?"

"Cold and dreary—what else?"

"Figures. I was calling to see if is Natalie around? I've been trying to get her to see how Liam is doing and talk with him."

"Liam's fine—I'm not at the house right now, but I can call back later and have you talk to him then, if that's ok."

She hadn't said _they_ were fine and he picked up on it immediately, "What's going on with Natalie?"

"Nothing," she said with a nervous laugh. "She's resting—that's all."

That hadn't surprised him, she'd seemed more tired recently, and when he'd asked she just said it was raising a toddler by herself that was so exhausting, but it always felt like there was more, "Resting where?"

She looked up to see Joey walk into the hallway, "I'm sorry, Dorian. I really need to go—I'll talk with you later, ok?"

The next thing John heard was the dial tone and wondered what exactly was going on an ocean away that no one wanted him to know about.

* * *

John got off the elevator and called Gigi's name out-the look on her face at seeing him made him grin for some reason. With the way everyone was acting, including when he called to see if he could fish something out of Roxy, he'd expected Natalie was getting married in secret, or had and was now on her honeymoon. He hadn't been expecting to be walking into the maternity ward of a hospital

"John—what are you doing here?" she said, trying to remain calm. Roxy had called saying he was trying to find Natalie, but no one actually expected him to fly across an ocean to talk with her. He hadn't before when they'd broken up right after she arrived so why now-that had been what Joey had said a few days ago when she suggested they call him and tell him what had happened. Obviously, he was wrong on that part.

"I'm trying to find Natalie. What room is she in?" he asked, looking up the hallway.

"What? Why do you think she's in a room?"

"Because I've been sitting outside the Buch's place for two days straight and she has yet to come out once. Because she hasn't returned any of my calls for a week now. And because you've looked down that hallway three times already. So tell me what the hell is going on?"

Gigi wanted to smile—when Natalie was in danger John's passion for her always trumped everything else, and it was showing strongly now, "Listen—let me tell her you're here first. Let her get used to the idea and then she can tell you everything."

"Considering where we're standing it's pretty obvious what's going on," he said, and walked over to a chair. "So go tell her—I'm not going anywhere."

* * *

"He does seem worried about you," said Gigi as she tried and talked her sister-in-law to talking to John. "And he said he wasn't leaving until he saw you."

"You've heard the doctor's—I can't get stressed over stuff. There's one thing I'm focusing on right now and it's this," she said as she placed her hand on her stomach.

"He needs to know—you've waited this long to tell him why wait anymore? Especially—,"

"Nothing is going to happen," spoke Natalie as she closed her eyes—she was so tired. And he deserved to know—had for awhile, but she'd been brushing it off—he wasn't around for Liam, why would he be around this time. "Fine, tell him to come in."

Gigi wasn't surprised to open the door and see John pacing down the hall, "Hey—she'll see you—but keep her calm. It's important."

John nodded as he walked in and saw her sitting up in the bed, the bags under her eyes were noticeable, "Hey—how are you feeling?" he asked as he stood at the end of the bed—trying to decide whether to sit or stand.

"Better than a few days ago," she said, messing with the covers a bit. "Has Liam seen you yet? He misses you-he'll be so happy you're here."

"No, but I saw him—Kelly took him to the park one day. He's getting big," he smiled thinking of his son.

"Probably even bigger once I blow this joint."

"Yeah," he nodded as he finally decided to sit and discuss the bigger picture. "Do I need to ask if it's mine?"

Natalie actually laughed at the question, "You ask with the second one—but not the first. Typical John."

"Can you blame me?" he smiled and then rubbed his face. "Why didn't you tell me when you found out?"

"It seemed pretty clear you didn't want to be a dad, John. The plane's wheels had barely made contact here in London and you were already kissing someone else."

John shook his head, "I never did talk to Blair about her immediately calling and telling Kelly about that. I'm—I'm sorry, Natalie."

"You've said that before," she said, remembering how they'd had that conversation over the phone and how her heart broke so much that night. It broke even worse a few weeks later when she found out she was pregnant.

"Not just that—all of this. You've been tired on the phone—I could tell, and you've been going through what I'm guessing is a difficult pregnancy all on your own. I should have been there."

"Don't beat yourself up," she said and then yawned. "Why don't you go spend time with your son—take him to the park or something. I'll call Kevin and tell him to be nice to you."

"Ok," he nodded and wanted to kiss her head or something-but knew he really didn't have the right to at the moment. "Get some rest-I'll be back later, there's still more we need to talk about," he said leaving. The rest could wait, right now he wanted to focus on his son and figure out where the hell his head had been the past five months.


	2. Chapter 2

"John," said Rex as he let him in the house without another word. Gigi had called him while he was still at the hospital. He hadn't been pleased that John had come-wish the man would just leave his sister alone instead of continually coming in and out of her life like he was.

Despite his opinion of him he was the father of her children and he deserved to see Liam, "Before you see him-what are your plans, McBain?"

John sighed, he knew he was going to get the third degree on being here, and that he deserved everything, "I'm going to be here for my children-and for Natalie as well. I'm not leaving until after the baby is here and out of the woods completely."

"And afterwards you are going to go back to whatever life you have in Port Charles, right?"

"I-I don't know yet," he said, he'd been thinking about that since the drive from the hospital.

"Maybe it's better you just don't see Liam then. Better to not confuse the kid with all the showing up and disappearing again."

"You know Balsom," he said raising his voice and stepping into Rex's personal space, "I knew I'd get hell from Natalie's brother's on being here. I knew Kevin and Joey would rather I just head straight to the airport and never look back.

"But I thought you might give me a little slack-having had a child kept from you for all those years. And considering how sick Shane was at one point. So let me say this again-until the baby is here and out of danger I'm here-and afterwards if Natalie tells me to leave then I will. So get used to it-now may I please see my son?"

Rex rolled his eyes-it wasn't worth a fight and kept walking into the living room where Kelly was sitting on the couch watching Liam play on the floor, "Hey buddy-someone's here to see you."

John walked into the room and couldn't believe how much bigger he seemed than the last time he saw him. He kneeled down and watched his son's eyes look at him for a moment in confusion before getting up and walking over to him. Last time his walk was still slightly unsteady, but now that was gone.

"Dada," he said as he put his arms around him and John pulled him into a hug and stood up.

"I've missed you so much buddy," he whispered and turned away from the others in the room so they didn't see the emotions he couldn't hold back.

"Mama?" asked Liam as he squirmed back and the same blue eyes mirrored back at John's.

"She'll be home soon. She says she loves you-and I do too," he said as he gave him a kiss. He needed to get out of here-spend some time with his son without the glaring eye of the Buchanan's. "I'm going to take him for a bit-if that's ok," he said, angry that he felt like he had to ask for permission for time with his son.

"It's no problem," said Kelly as she got up and went to the doorway. "I'll get a bag together for you-he shouldn't need a nap, but might get hungry after awhile."

"Thanks," he said as he watched her walk away. "So what are we going to do today?" he smiled as he looked at Liam before giving him another kiss on the head and was again reminded how much had been missing from his life.

* * *

Natalie sat in the bed-she'd tried to rest, but kept thinking about John being here. She hoped he had a good day with Liam-that he'd remembered how much he had walked away from. Looking down at her growing stomach she felt the urge to suddenly talk to her unborn child, "You know your dad isn't a bad person, despite what your Uncle's may say-he just gets wrapped up into something and can only focus on one thing at a moment.

"I think right now his focus is you and your brother-that's not a bad thing. Mommy just has to figure everything else out," she said as she saw John walk past the window on his cell phone.

Sitting up a little she watched as he continued to talk on the phone for a few more minutes before coming in, "Hey. Did you two have a good day? Gigi called and said Liam was exhausted when you dropped him back off."

John smiled, "Yeah-we walked around and saw the lights at the stores, he still loves them. Then we went and played at the park and had lunch. He also helped me find a hotel to stay in for the time being-the girl at the desk absolutely loved him. I think we're going to have a lady killer on our hands."

"Yeah, we are," she smiled. "John-you don't have to stay if you don't want to."

He remembered what he'd told Rex, but she hadn't told him to leave-just gave him an out which he wasn't going to take. "I want to stay. I want to see this child born healthy. I'm going to be a dad again," he smiled.

"Liam's excited about being a big brother-he'll kiss my belly and say baby almost everytime he sees me," she said, as her eyes filled with tears. "I miss him so much, John. I wish I could just see him for a few minutes."

"I figured you did," he said as he pulled out his phone and opened up a video before handing the phone to Natalie.

_Say hi mama, Liam, _spoke John's voice in the background.

_Hi mama. Hi baby. Love you._

The video ended with Liam blowing her a kiss. Natalie out of habit blew him a kiss back, and handed back the phone and received a kleenex in exchange, "Thank you, John. So what did Sam say when you told her you were going to be a dad again?" she asked, having to change the subject.

"Sam?"

"The phone call before you came in-I assumed it was her."

"Oh, no. We're not together anymore-that was Anna. Just told her I was taking a personal leave. Didn't have a return date. She understood-told me to tell you she hopes everything is smoother here on out," he said as he turned at the door opening and a doctor came in.

"Hi, Natalie-how are we feeling today?"

"Better-even more so if you tell me I can go home and not be on bedrest."

"I can promise one of those, but not both," he said as he looked at John, unsure whether to continue with him in the room.

"He can stay-he's the father," she said with a half smile at John.

"Your blood pressure is going down-that's a good thing. And the baby is developing just fine-she should be fine if we can make it to 32 weeks."

"She?" asked John. He was surprised Natalie had found out-she'd waited until Liam was born to find out it was a boy he figured she would do the same this time.

"I got scared when they brought me to the hospital and admitted me-I needed to know," she answered, knowing what he was thinking. "It's a girl," she beamed and then looked at the doctor. "So I can go home?"

"Yes, you can go home-but bedrest is still mandatory," he smiled.

"I have an almost two year old at home-do you know how impossible that is?" she laughed.

"That's what the dad is for-and other family. I'm going to keep you one more night and then we'll check you tomorrow morning and then you can go home to that little boy of yours," he smiled and left the room.

Natalie put her head back and let out a deep breath, "Everything is going to be ok."

"That's great-I know you want to call everyone so I'll let you go. See you tomorrow sometime?"

"Yeah-goodnight John," she smiled and reached for the phone to start making calls.

John smiled back at her and left the room. As he reached the elevator he watched a dark haired man come off holding a bouquet of flowers.

"Excuse me," he said, passing him and John heard the thick Irish lilt in his voice.

As John got on the elevator and looked up he wondered why the hell that man had just walked into Natalie's room and exactly what did he mean to her.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Hope everyone is enjoying this. Not complaining, but the reviews have been quiet with the first two chapters which isn't like ya'll. LOL. Hope everyone enjoys! Until next time-PCGirl.

* * *

Natalie was surprised when the door opened a few seconds after John had left. At first she thought he'd come back for something or tell her something, but instead standing in front of her was a man with dark brown hair and hazel eyes. She put down the phone and smiled as he finished coming into the room, "Aidan—you're back already. I thought you wouldn't be back in town for a few more days."

"Hello, sweetheart," he said as he sat the flowers down on the table and leaned down to kiss her cheek. "I wrapped everything up earlier than planned and then I come back to hear you are in the hospital. I told you that you and Gigi needed to lay off the shopping excursions," he joked.

She smiled, "Yeah yeah. I'm getting released tomorrow. Just have to be on bed rest for a few weeks. So no more excursions for awhile."

"Guess that holiday I've been begging you for to go on with me is going to have to wait as well."

"Begging?" she asked with a raised eyebrow. He'd mentioned it maybe twice—and she didn't remember any begging involved.

"You haven't seen anything yet," he said as he sat down in the chair and ran his hands through his hair. "So—was that Liam's sperm donor I passed in the hallway?"

Natalie laughed loudly, "John—yes, that was him."

"I should have knocked him silly," he said sneering at the door.

"Aidan," she warned.

"No, I should have. He knocks you up, cheats on you, and then doesn't even try to win back your affections. Maybe I could have knocked the sense back into his arrogant ass."

"You Irish sure have a way with words," she laughed.

"You know there are other things we have a way with too," he grinned and leaned over to steal a kiss.

Natalie melted into the kiss—they'd only been casually dating but she was enjoying it. It was different than her and John—slow and easy, a step they always seemed to miss. Someone who could put work away at 5 and not think about it again until the morning—something that was definitely not John.

Ending the kiss and watching him pull back she smiled, "You do realize I'm in here for high blood pressure, right?"

"Sorry," he blushed. "I'll keep the kisses simple until the baby comes. How is the little one doing?"

"She's fine," she smiled at his reaction, "Yes—she."

"And she'll be as beautiful as her mother," he said, pushing a lock of hair behind her ear and leaning back in for a soft kiss.

* * *

John walked into the room and watched Natalie for a second before making his presence known—she was sitting on the couch reading what he guessed was one of her trashy romance novels. He'd avoided coming by yesterday—he'd needed to take a step back after walking back to the room and seeing her in a lip lock with another man.

And what pissed him off even more was that he had no right to even ask or admit he'd seen it. Giving a slight cough he watched her jump as she left whatever world the book held her in and brought her back to reality, "Hey."

"Hey," she said, surprised he was still in town. He hadn't come by yesterday—which made her wonder had he just decided to leave London without a goodbye and head back to whatever was waiting for him in Port Charles. "I didn't hear the door or Neville."

"I was coming up the walk when Joey and Kelly were leaving. They let me back in."

"Well, I don't see a shiner so I guess Joey didn't deck you yet."

John gave a half grin and found a chair to sit in, "Why didn't you tell me you started seeing someone?"

Natalie was surprised at his bluntness, "It's none of your business."

"The hell it is—he's going to be around my children I want to know."

"His name is Aidan—he works here in BE's London office."

She was going to leave it at that, but then the past five months of anger came to the surface and there was no way to stop it, "You know—I've never asked or cared who you've been locking lips with for the past five months. But obviously you seem to care. Why John? You think I'm so heartbroken over you that I'm going to find another Paul Cramer type to fall for? Well, you're wrong—leaving your ass was the best thing ever. I should have sent Sam McCall a damn bouquet of flowers for doing me a favor."

"A favor?"

"Yes—that's always been the problem with us John. Trust. You don't trust me enough to put our children first. What you think I'm just going to let anyone into my life and not care about their past? That's not me John—that's you. You were the one who chose a mob princess over your own children."

Before John could speak he heard footsteps fast approaching and then Kevin came into the room, "What the hell? Get out, McBain. She's on bed rest for high blood pressure and you are not helping matters. When you want to see Liam call me or Rex and we'll bring him to you—Natalie is off limits until the baby is here."

He was surprised when John actually got up and walked out without a fight. After Kevin made sure he had left the house he walked back in to check on Natalie who had now lain back on the couch and was covering her face with her hands, "You ok? Do we need to take you to the hospital?"

"No," she shook her head and finished wiping away any tears that may have betrayed her and shown. "I know better than to let him get under my skin like that. Liam didn't hear any of that, did he?"

"I don't think so—he was asleep a few minutes ago."

"Good," she said as she stood up. The last thing she wanted right now was to have her son hear his parents yelling at each other like that. But this conversation was obviously going to have to be revisited if John was truly going to be a part of their lives again he was going to have to understand that she was moving on this time. She hadn't waited around these past five months waiting for him to realize how much of a mistake he'd made of his life.


End file.
